My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This house was built for laser tag.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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