Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize