this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
