whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
