I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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