Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
