Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
