i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
