this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
