I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
