So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
