that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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