I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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