I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
