Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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