I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He passed out mid-signature
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Even my vagina gasped.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
