Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you win again, gameday.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
