Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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