I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
