You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize