I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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