i really wish james franco would like my vagina
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
