I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
