I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
