I CAN MOONWALK!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
