I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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