Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you had me at cake vodka
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
