he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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