Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
