Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
