Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
