So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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