Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
