i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I didn't notice because vodka
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
