We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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