i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize