Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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