that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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