she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
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