I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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