it was like his penis was on wheels.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
