The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
