She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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