O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
even my farts smell like vagina
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
