i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
