So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
