Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
