god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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