Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
