how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
