i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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