he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize