check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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