In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
