I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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