Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
you made out with another girl for some wings
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
