i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
