they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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