Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
