sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
