I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
