Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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