Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
