New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
