That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
