I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
